Are You Kidding?

A Tale Of Real Life Miracles

By: Jay Bartels

It was August of 2002 and it was boiling hot, just as yesterday was and tomorrow would surely be. From where I was sitting, there was no relief in sight. I woke up to a glaring sunrise from my new home on the beach. When I say on the beach, I mean on the beach, in the sand with my worn out sneakers serving as my pillow. I was homeless.

I didn't want to admit that I was homeless. I was in a state of transition – a state of denial. I stood up and brushed the sand from my body and headed for the street. That day became a turning point in my life.

I sat on a bench trying to remember just how I had gotten there and how I wound up losing everything, including my dignity. I began to cry. Holding my face in my hands, I was trying to protect what little pride I had left. I thought of my little girls and how I had let them down. Yet, in that moment of my greatest despair, powerful reasons for why I needed to fight for my life arose within me, and somehow, I was granted the faith I needed to fight for my life and for my children.

My family and friends had tried to help me for years, but I refused their help because I failed to recognize my problem. For me, there was no problem. Being unemployed for over a year, having an obsession with the bottles of assorted pills that filled my drawers, and going for days on end with no sleep did not phase me one bit. Moreover, I failed to notice how poorly I cared for my daughters because I was too far gone on heroin. Each day started out the same – it was like I was on a treasure hunt, searching endlessly for more drugs to cure my symptoms of withdrawal. I believed that if I ever wanted to quit, I could do it through willpower alone.

Things became progressively worse. My life was spinning out of control and seemed irreversible. In August of 1999, I was arrested for writing a prescription and attempting to fill it. This was not the first time I had played doctor, but rather, the first time that I was caught. My family posted bond and I was soon back home. I swore that this was the end of my addiction and preceded to burn every blank prescription I had. This way there would be no added temptation. After all, I was so grateful to be out of jail and given a second chance, that I would have to be just plain stupid to even think about writing another script.

Unfortunately, my addiction was calling the shots. I was headed down a path consisting of jails, institutions, and at times, close calls with death. My addiction wanted me to feel the pain, to run away from it, and to call on drugs in order to stop the pain. But the pain never went away. It only grew more intense from the guilt and shame that kept me from loving myself. There were only brief moments of peace before the reality brought the suffering to the depths of my being, crushing any hopes of spirituality and convincing me that it was too late to turn my life around.

My disease spoke and I believed every thing it said. In actuality, it was the scared little boy inside who was afraid of life in general. I surrendered any hope for a meaningful life and resolved to accept the pain and hopelessness of being in a state of mere existence. This wasn’t life. It was as if I had gotten lost walking through the looking glass and would never find my way home. I had lost sight of all of my dreams and aspirations and had lost all perception of whom I was and where I was going before I was swallowed up by the uncontrollable force of my addiction.

That is the nature of the disease of addiction. It wants you sick, it wants you to suffer, and it lives to crush your hopes and rob you of your faith. It took me three years to understand this, to realize it wasn’t just going to go away. My life was not only going to stay miserable, but it would eventually take me to rock bottom. I finally got it! I had to find enough faith to give me the courage to fully surrender to a power greater than myself. Thus, I asked my higher power to take my will and my life and to give me the strength and courage to do his will for me, a miracle was bestowed upon me. I cried and screamed at the top of my lungs over and over again, “God, I surrender, please give me the strength and courage to help me!” That would be the last time I would give into the disease. I wasn’t home free, but I was drug-free and determined to do whatever it took to reclaim my life.

In my fight against the disease, I was continuously being struck at with lies challenging my faith and courage. I pressed on, enduring three weeks of detox, hospitals, and days of intense hallucinations. There were men that would come into these facilities and hold N.A meetings and I knew they were the messengers sent to give me hope. I felt right at home in the meetings and realized for the first time that I wasn’t alone and didn’t have to fight to stay clean by myself. With the drugs out of my system, the sanity began to return to my life, and I found some clarity for the first time in many years.

My new life was taking shape. I wasn’t out of the woods quite yet, but I could see the path that would lead me to freedom. I was committed to following that path knowing eventually it would give me an opportunity to fight for my children with the same vigor and commitment I used to fight for my own life. However, I first had to concentrate on my recovery and getting well before I could take care of anything or anyone else.

I was told to attend 90 N.A meetings in 90 days. I made sure to make it a priority to attend at least one meeting a day. I moved into a halfway house to surround myself with other recovering addicts. These individuals adopted me into their hearts immediately and unconditionally, assuring me I wasn’t alone. These were my only friends right now, and these were the only friends I needed. If I was going to change, I was going to have to change everything, especially the people I associated myself with during my using days.

It took a month before I was well enough to work. My first day at work was a very humbling experience. I was delivering furniture for a business I once managed before they let me go due to my addiction to muscle relaxers. For the first time in years, I was full of gratitude and felt like a responsible and productive member of society. My faith grew stronger and I began to see the promises of a wonderful life to come. I soaked in each day and was grateful for my blessings. After the first day at work, I was offered a permanent position on the sales floor and soon I was the manager of the store again. I was back, but I knew I needed to keep things in perspective. I realized if I was going to stay clean and continue on this new journey, I would have to keep doing the things that got me here. I had to continue attending meetings and remain close with the wonderful friends who had supported me on this journey. In addition, I knew that my disease could attack me through my growing ego and newly held position of authority. However, the memories of where my addiction had taken me, along with the nightmare I endured while detoxifying the drugs out of my system were more than enough to keep me in-line. I knew that this was my last chance to start a fresh life, and my one and only opportunity to have dreams within my reach. It was time to fight for my children.

Within 90 days, I had a car and an apartment. Now it was time to get my girls and bring them home after almost 2 ½ years. I was determined that one day I would leave the courtroom with my precious girls by my side.

I started out with supervised visits, and then eventually took them out for the day on my own. We had been to family court many times and we were having a problem with the way the system was set up. The statute said after a years time, I could not get my children back, because they had already been placed with an adoptive family. However, the judge had a new admiration for me and every agency was on my side. We just had to find a way to get through the red tape.

It was finally judgment day. It was now or never. The state attorney told the judge that the children should be with their father as did everyone else who testified that day. The judge looked at me and smiled and said, "Sir, in all my years on the bench I've never seen a parent go through as much as you did fighting your addiction, sleeping on the street, and still show enough perseverance to be here today fighting for your children. I'm confident that your love for your children, somehow defied all odds. How would you like to have your girls back with you, where they belong?" Those were the sweetest words I have ever heard.

It's been almost three years since I've been raising the girls as a single father. We haven't seen their mom in over two years, but we keep her in our prayers. I could have never done this on my own. I turned my will over to God and trusted that he could manage my life better than I could. I feel so blessed to have my daughters back, to be able to provide for them, and to get a hug and a kiss each night before they go to bed, only 20 feet away, from the luckiest man in the world.

Miracles of Jesus - Eyewitness Testimony
The miracles of Jesus range from changing water into wine to healing the lame and the blind. How do we know He did these things? We have the eyewitness testimony of four gospel writers, who record at least 35 miracles of Jesus. (For a complete list of Christ's miracles and where in Scripture you can find them, click on the link at the bottom of this page.)

Miracles of Jesus - What Are They?
A miracle of Jesus would be defined by the Merriam Webster dictionary as "an extraordinary event manifesting divine intervention in human affairs, or as an extremely outstanding or unusual event, thing, or accomplishment." According to the Biblical Studies Foundation, a miracle "is an unusual and significant event (terasa) which requires the working of a supernatural agent (dunamis) and is performed for the purpose of authenticating the message or the messenger (semeion)."

While there are many explanations for what a miracle is, we can probably all agree that the word "miracle" describes an event that occurs outside the bounds of natural law, and which is beneficial in its result. During the course of His three-year public ministry, Jesus performed miracles that demonstrated His ability to heal, to master the elements, to affect the outcome of our endeavors, and even to raise the dead. Every one of His miracles occurred outside the bounds of natural law, and all of them had a beneficial result.

Miracles of Jesus - What Lessons Can We Learn from Them Today?
If we look at just the first miracle of Jesus, recorded in John 2:1-11, we learn a lot about this singular Man. First, even though He was God and "on mission," He took time to go to a wedding. Jesus loved people; He came to be with and save people. Do you value your relationships and look for ways to bless others when you are with them?

Second, Jesus turned water into wine at His mother's request. Did Mary expect Him to do a miracle? We don't know that, but we can see from the verses that Mary clearly relied on and had faith in her Son to be able to fix a bad situation. Who do you turn to in times of trouble? Are you relying on someone you can trust to do the right thing?

Third, when Jesus performed this miracle, He was demonstrating His power over nature. When His disciples saw this, John tells us, they believed. Also, Jesus didn't settle for just ordinary wine, but turned the water into the finest of wines, showing Himself to be a Man full of the joy of life. Have you been searching everywhere for truth, but putting off Christ for last? Why wait? Do you believe Jesus is the Son of God? Have you thought that being a Christian is to live a dull, boring life? Jesus wants you to believe as His disciples did, and the experience promises to be dynamic, exciting and life-changing.

Does Jesus still perform miracles today? After all, we don't see Him physically walking in our midst - or do we? Do you know someone who has been healed or whose life has been transformed by a relationship with Christ? Then you have seen a modern-day miracle of Jesus. You, too, can be an eyewitness to a miracle of Christ. Like Mary, you can ask Him, believing He will do what is best for you. Let a miracle of Jesus begin in your heart right now.